Winner Crowned

How is it possible that in the Graphics Production Capital of the World, the winner of a showcase sporting event cracks his skull on a slippery logo decal of the event's main sponsor at the finish line?

I can't stop thinking about this.

Veil Chic, Bathos Girl

As I was listening this morning to mawkish NPR host Scott Simon and DIY pop god Billy Bragg laud the UK for its supposed embrace of cultural diversity, I couldn't help recalling Jack Straw's ill-considered musings last week about the deleterious effects of veil-wearing on communication and community. Naturally, opposition MP's were only too happy to chime in on this topic, and now the, er, veil has been dropped: a Muslim teacher in West Yorkshire has been suspended for wearing a veil in class.

I saw a lot of veiled Muslim women while I was in Asia this summer, and let me tell you that in their primary function of desexing, veils fail miserably. Problem is, veils are sexy, a point proven time and again on I Dream of Jeannie — an American show, of course, and just one of the reasons we have a leg up on the Brits on this issue. Not only that, but veils are cool, which is why ninjas were them.

In fact, how long can it be before veils are donned by the nubile smart set as a fashion statement? How cool would that be? Of course, a matching halter top would be even cooler, but that'll probably have to wait until next summer.

404 Foley

In the most entertaining congressional scandal ever, where to begin? Not at Foley's official site, which now redirects to a House "Current Vacancies" page.

I just can't decide which part of this imbroglio is the juiciest: that Foley was the Republican point man for kiddie porn and chair of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children? Or that after the first round of revelations, his office said that requesting photos of teen pages was SOP and that his electoral opponent was just trying to smear him (now there's a page ripped out of the Rove manual)? Right now my vote goes to his IM message to a boy who had just identified himself to Foley as underage: "we may need to drink at my house so we don't get busted".

Whoever has the factory order for Mark Foley Halloween masks had better look into expanding their production capacity.